So, you read the title and you either got it right away or I have some “’splaining to do, Lucy’.” In a second, I’m going to tell you how to use the “trapandtap” method properly. Make sure if you try the trapandtap that you know how to handle it. The trapandtap is like a gun, used properly it can be an effective and valuable tool, but if it’s used improperly the results can be devastating!

But first, quickly from the Sheik dictionary…

Definition of Trapandtap:

1. The act of limiting a woman’s short- term romantic options in order to increase your viability; specifically: Isolating and/or removing a woman from her natural habitat so she has no other choice than being around you.

Example of Definition:

“I think I’m going to invite Sarah on a weekend get-a-way so I can trapandtap her.”

Oh boy! The example of definition that I just gave you could go a million different ways. It never ceases to amaze me how many guys fail with the trapandtap. This is fairly advanced stuff but I have a word limit so I am going to go over just the basics.

Let’s jump right in…

1. I don’t recommend any guy who’s just exiting a marriage or a long-term relationship to try the trapandtap in any situation. Period. Yes I’ll explain. You see there laddy (in your best Irish accent — cut me some slack, I wrote this around St. Patrick’s day so talking like an Irishman is all up in my head) a man in a relationship interacts light years differently with a woman than a man who’s been out there for a spell in the cruel world of dating. You don’t believe me? I can prove what I just said in the next sentence. Wait for it, wait for it… Try saying “no” to a woman when you’re in a relationship and then tell me what happens. Now what? Enough said, moving on.

2. Please, do not try the trapandtap on a woman before or during the first time you meet her. You will be denied. She may even call the cops before she posts your picture on Facebook so all of her girlfriends can ridicule you. Quick story. I have a co-worker who just got out of a marriage and he was meeting women online for dating. I overheard him attempting the trapandtap and I cringed when I heard him because I knew from what he was saying that he was doomed. You see, this guy I overheard talking was on the phone with a woman that he exchanged numbers with on a dating site and he was trying to set up a date with her to meet. This poor guy was trying to be totally sweet and sincere. The problem was he was just trying to do what he would normally do with his ex-wife. He made two fatal mistakes in one fell swoop. First, it was a Friday when the telephone call took place and it was during Christmas time. I remember this because he asked her if she wanted to go to the company Christmas party that night! Red alert, Red alert! Then… Then he proceeded to say, “Pack a bag because after the party — why don’t you let me take you up skiing for the weekend.” I know, I know, it seems obvious but I promise these guys exist. If you’re reading this and you’re one of them — stop it! I say that with love like a best friend would. Oh, what was the outcome of that phone call that I overheard? Actually she agreed to go with him…Then she dropped a text bomb on him two hours later saying something came up and he never heard from her again. Surprise, surprise.

3. You have to be careful with this one because you may actually get the trap part of the trapandtap accomplished. Yes, if you build up some trust and a rapport with her over a few dates she may agree to head out on the highway with you for a little weekend adventure. But you better have somewhere sweet to go and you better have a plan. If you don’t, kaboom! Yes, girls like to have fun — Cindy Lauper will tell you this. Be careful though, if you’re not an advanced dater the only thing that you’ll be tapping is your wallet from paying for a bunk weekend and the Guinness keg you’ll be draining because you’re alone down at the hotel bar.

4. The key to any good trapandtap is to follow her lead. That’s right, her lead. Believe it or not, and you have to listen closely because usually she will tell you in some sort of female cryptic code that the male ear has a hard time hearing. For example… (This is her talking when you’re out or on a date) “I’ve always wanted to stay at the Ameristar in Black Hawk.” Guys, if by the end of the date you don’t ask her if she wants to go play a few hands of Black Jack, have a bite to eat and then grab a room at Ameristar next weekend you should have the man police come to your house and snatch your card out of your wallet.

5. Well number five. Good ole’ five, fiver, fiveski, fivearooni, fiveadoodledoo. Well you see number five is too juicy to throw down (using an old husky, southern lawyer’s voice) in this here article! But it’s perfect for my new website www.themod erndater.com.

Don’t forget to tune into The Modern Dater Show every Saturday at 7 p.m. on 630 KHOW or grab the podcast on www.the moderndater.com and while you’re there make sure you check out the events page to see where we will be broadcasting from next. Join TMD show live at the Beetle Bar Saturday, April 27, for our live broadcast party! See you out there!

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